Handyman

The title of this post is a term that has never applied to me.

In theory, it should right? After all, I'm a man, and men are naturally supposed to be able to put up drywall or build a deck, right? When I was a kid, my very handy father did something that I could never, ever do. He converted our large unfinished basement into a fantastic social hub for our family....himself. 

The only time you'd see me like this is 
at a Halloween party

Sure, my brother and I tried to help, but we were useless for the most part. We just weren't very interested in different types of screwdrivers or wallpapering or stucco'ing a wall. It just wasn't in our nature, but that wasn't really the point of it all. Our father was trying to educate us about the basics so we could apply these skills later in life. Much of what I learned from my dad has helped me with basic household things, but only to a certain point - not due to his fine teachings, but due to my aptitude with such activities, or lack thereof. 

This speaks to the larger issue of the societal expectations placed on all of us. Historically, women were always supposed to look a certain way, get married, have babies and cook a mean pot roast. A career was always on the backburner. Now don't get me wrong - obviously if a woman wants to embrace this lifestyle nowadays, that's her perogative, but it shouldn't be an expectation. But to some extent there is still a stigma associated with women (and men in fact) who don't have kids or know how to cook, but that's just left over silliness from a different generation.

Likewise, there still are some expectations by society for a man to install a toilet or build a shed. After all, in a male/female relationship, the woman can't possibly be expected to take the lead on this sort of stuff right? Well, I for one reject it all. I ignore paper thin labels and outdated stereotypes and have long turned down the notion of what I'm supposed to do, or who I'm supposed to be. The reality is, however, that this is still a fundamental truth about society. Therefore many of us aspire to some so-called Gold Standard of what a man or woman is supposed to be, despite what they really feel or truly want. Of course, much like religious indoctrination, the brainwash began early and can be difficult to reverse.

In the end of course, the truth comes. And it can come at a cost to relationships, families and also innocent children. The bottom line is that if it feels natural for you to do x, y or z, then go for it. But if in your heart of hearts, something's just not right, it's in everyone's best interest to be honest. 

Getting back to the title of this post, when's the last time you gave your car an oil, lube and filter? Just Google it. It's pretty straight forward, so why not just do it yourself?  

Precisely. Let's leave handyman things to handymen.